One of My Favorite Self Esteem Building Activities is Learning to Love My Self Talk

How to Harness Your Inner Self Talk and put it to work for you.

By Ken Shuey

I was searching for some self esteem building activities and I realized that throughout my life, I have often awakened in the middle of the night to find the monster - Self Talk - yakking at me completely out of control. It was as if another person had invaded my mind and began to randomly criticize me, worry me, scare me, and generally wreak havoc with my intention to get a good night’s sleep. There have been times when I actually dreaded going to bed at night knowing that after a few unconscious hours, I would be wide awake in the throes of its poisonous venom.

Then one night this Self Talk finally made sense to me. It said that it was not an outsider at all. It was part of me, and that was desperately trying to assert itself. It was simply trying to get my attention by nagging me with my own fears and worries. It just wanted recognition.

I decided then and there that I should harness this huge monster and make it work for me instead of against me. Throughout history human beings have shown and obsession with enslaving things -- we are compelled to control people, animals, natural forces, and machines to do our work for us. We love to enslave things and control them. So why not tame this wild beast - my Self Talk - harness it, and make it work for me instead of against me.

I figured out that if it was so damn bent on having its say about me, that I would nurture it and teach it to say useful stuff and gradually let it run with it. That would be one of the best self esteem building activities I could come up with.

I made friends with my Self Talk. I gave it good stuff to focus on and whenever it tried to hit me with fears and worries again, I slapped it back into it’s place with positive ego building stuff to work with. I coerced and cajoled it into becoming my partner rather than my enemy. I fed it more and more information about my greatness, the great things that I had accomplished in the past, and the goodness of my intentions to go further.

To my surprise it responded with enthusiasm! It became my great cheerleader. It became the best of my self esteem building activities. When Self Doubt raised it’s ugly head my Self Talk beat it back with positive ammunition. I tamed the beast and I taught it well.

We are partners now, me and my Self Talk. When I wake up in the middle of the night it still talks to me but now it provides calm and gentle night music for me to enjoy the magic of the middle of the night. It comforts me so that I can drift back to sleep. It helps me stay in the Now. Sometimes it fires me up for the wonderful day that lies just ahead.

It loves being my slave.

My Self Talk is now my best friend! (well… after my dog)

Madison, CT, Dec. 2009

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